Spam Poetry

Life is art. It is music. It is poetry.

Just look around you – you might have to squint your eyes a little to see past the day to day annoyances, but I truly, TRULY believe that there is beauty in every situation. It’s simply a matter of perspective.


Below you will find a collection of prose gathered from what may be one of the most infuriating sources of annoyance in our modern times: the spam email.

And yes, I do realize I did not dream up SPAM POETRY all by my itty, bitty self – though I think I get brownie points for avoiding blatant references of male genitalia. The following only stems from the random word generation variety of email.


Oh resplendent crank case.
So you were a knave of his.
Never lose again, Olga Esposito

Knowing they were English, speaking hu-mans
made us too nervous even to rely on the
short effective range of our mikes.

Big your piano. Be a real man.

The grin and Lolita were dancing in me,
and I almost fell over the folding chairs
that I attempted to dislodge.

Emboss genius.
Get a bigger flute.
Enjoy it, as I do.

Rosie says she won’t replace Bob Barker.
Buzz me in, will you?

Pay taxes to the crown, or offer more than lip service,
and that often slight.
Describes the state of the stream and indicates how to proceed.

To ourselves, Arbuckle.
On and forkland.
Your dog needs it.
And have an eye on that dwarf.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Kodac. Do I get a spot on your next lineup?


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Filed under Life, the Universe, and Everything, Sight, Sound

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